brooke_eli (brooke_eli) wrote in bigfatlosers,

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about me

Things I hate about myself. My flappy fat belly and how it moves every time I move.
my flappy hands and how the look look like a normal persons legs.
my legs and how huge and horrible the look. I hate how I can't wear shots or skirts because it looks like I'm abusing my legs, fat as they might be.
I hate how whenever I look in the mirror, the person I see is not my, its never me, won't ever be me. how can I change that girl.
on a level I know that girl in the mirror, but sometime I think I dont. I know she's lonely, oh so lonely, but to the rest of the world she portrays not and happiness. she loves, she's capable of loving, at least she believes she is able to loving.
She has feeling, deep emotions, but she hide them in them behind the shell of her fatness. She hides behind food, junk food. chocolate, icecream, crisps biscuits, the all make her feel better for about two minutes after she ears them. then she feels dissapointment in her self, how could I do this? How could she let her self down. the more she is disappointed, the more she she wants to eat. its a circle, it goes in and on and on. it can't be broken. she doesn't know how ti break the circle. but she knows she is not trapped, she knows she has to break the circle, its killing her, but she doesnt know, she's trying but the circle can be overwhelming.
she is just a lonely sad girl, she needs to ne lived but she doesn't know how to handle kove when she gets it. She's her only hope out of thus, she knows it, nobody can walk the path for get, she can do, all she needs us a little faith and a luttle hope, she is not lost, she is confused, she will find her way, not today, not tomorrow, but she will find her way. K
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